Rhonda Begos-Zolecki

Rhonda Begos-Zolecki


I remember when I was younger, and I used to move a lot, from place to place. When I was young, it felt slightly uncomfortable, because all of my friends seemed to be stationed in one spot, never moving. It always offered an opportunity to see new things, and live in new neighborhoods, and meet new people.


Now that I am much older, I am seeing the benefits of those experiences. I adapt well to change, and do not feel that I have to stay stuck in the way things ARE or have ALWAYS BEEN. I am excited when things are moving in a direction that allows minds to be open to so much opportunity. I also understand much more what it truly means, in reference to moving, to MOVE ON.


We all have many experiences that have made us who we are, good and bad. We have friends who we thought were friends who have hurt us, we have many situations that have gone bad that we’ve caused. We have a person who we USED to be, who we no longer are, and then there are those devastating life changing experiences that have altered our direction in one way or another, in which we’ve chosen unhealthy ways to deal with it..not because we necessarily wanted to, but because we just didn’t remain receptive to learning new ways to move in a forward direction.


I have used the words “I Have Moved On” more than once in conversations I’ve had with people, who have not moved on. And I think the interpretation can be taken incorrectly, mainly because of what sits in the hearts of those who you’re trying to explain it to. But I will do my best here to say what Moving On means to me.


Just like when I would move from house to house as a kid, I still remember each house I lived in, and the experiences that happened in those houses, good and bad. Each of those houses offered so many opportunities for growth, and I embrace them every time a memory hits me. However, I live in a new house now – so I don’t stay trapped living in that old house. I just remember what it was like from time to time. That is how I feel about moving on from people and from experiences. Just because I’ve moved on, doesn’t mean that I don’t think about it, or pray about it, or no longer feel bad about those bad experiences in which I have been the main cause of pain to people and situations. I just don’t stay there, living there and stationed there, caught up in the “should haves, would haves, and could haves” of the situation. I deal with what happened, and figure out ways to make life better. However, thinking about those bad moments do not affect my experience with the good moments in life. AND most important, it doesn’t close the door to healing when people and situations come to me that require an apology, or some acknowledgement. Like with me leaving music – I have such wonderful memories of singing, and while it’s a massive part of my life that is no longer happening, that absence is in NO way affecting my current position in life. I take what I learned in music, and use it to my advantage in what I’m doing now. I don’t live there anymore, but yep – every once in a while, I do visit and sometimes, I stay a couple of days. But I do leave eventually.


Moving on does not mean not taking responsibility. It doesn’t mean that your growth stops. It just means, it’s time to take your “furniture” and all that is precious to you from one home to the next. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have to drive by every once a while and revisit what it was like. However, it does mean that you have to do just that. Drive by, and then make your way to your new home, where you belong.


Now – having explained that will open doors for people to judge and say “well, that’s not what she means. She hasn’t moved on. What she’s saying is crap.”


That negative is a place where I chose to live for a long, long, long, long time. That is a home that I don’t even like to visit and has been long gone from my heart for years now. So, while I know the reality is that some may believe that, just know – the key you have to that house is your own key, your own house, your own home. You can keep that door open for me, and try to make me come through it with what you say, making me feel as if I have to defend your belief of who I am – I have too many other places to visit, and too much of a reason for me to go back home at night. All I can do for those people, is hope that you too can find a way to move on. Usually – you find that when you stay closed up in that house, no one wants to come and visit except for those who are just like you – in which case, you’re not really with anyone else. You’re all by yourself with no one else to look at but you.


It is really nice to not have to do that anymore. I have moved on, moved forward, stepped forward, thought forward, believed forward, acted forward, and lived forward. THAT is some movement that I have prayed for all of my life. 


I would not have this if I hadn't kept moving. So why in God's name would I ever say "I Haven't Moved On?" Why would anyone want to be trapped in that existence? Don't know. All I know is, my old couch in my new house, is much better than some folks new couch in the old house. Peace requires movement, and I will continue to pray for movement and peace in my daily life! 




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